Ural Posh

Account Name:LordShatter
Character Number:#1
Other Characters:N/A


Name:Ural Posh
Alias(es):N/A
Nickname:N/A
Age:35
Gender:Male
Species:Nautolan
Birth Date & Place:Glee Anselm, 35 years ago, (I don't know the current SWID Time)
Special Characteristics:N/A


Height:1.8 meters
Hair Color & Style:N/A
Eye Color & Shape: Black, oval
Skin Tone: Green
Build:Slim
Physical Ability & Limits:
N/A
Physical Illness/Ailment:
N/A
Clothing Style:
Traditional Glee Anselm Senator's Uniform
Distinguishing Features:Red tips on lekku
Voice:Deep


Basic Alignment: Grand Republic
Goal(s): To become the most famous Nautolan senator to date.
Objective:No.
Defining Characteristics: N/A
Likes: Swimming
Dislikes: Deserts
Hopes & Desires: To find a wife.
Fears & Phobias: Dying of dehydration
Dirty Secret:
N/A
Attitudes Toward:
-Others: Respectful
-Homeland: Honorable


Status:
High-class, Senator
Political Alignment: Liberal
Marital Status:  Single
Family: Most family is dead. Still has a mother.
Hobbies:
N/A
Languages: Nautila, Anselmian, Basic
Literacy: Nautila, Anselmian, Basic


Talents & Skills:
Filibustering, Has the average ability of all Nautolans to sense emotions through their 14 lekku, which works best underwater, very persuasive
Force Abilities: None

History:
Born on Glee Anselm. He lost his father when he was 7 when pirates attacked his cruise ship, looking for valuables, and his brother when when he was 15 to a horrible disease. When he graduated secondary school, he studied Politics with his best friend, who dropped out 2 months later. While in University, he met a Jedi, and they became close friends after Ural helped hide him from the Superintendent, who had made it very clear to all students that Jedi were not allowed on campus, due to the last "Jedi", who was really a Dark Jedi, tried to kill the Superintendent. The Jedi was there to try to negotiate the turning over of a galactic criminal whom had been caught by the Campus Gaurd, but the Superintendent refused to release him into the custody of the Jedi Order. Unfortunately, The Jedi whom Ural befriended was assassinated, 3 years later, by a bounty hunter who was hired by the Hutt Clan, and the Jedi left his lightsaber to Ural, though the Jedi Order ensured they gutted it, not wanting it's design to be copied for non-force users. He was permitted to keep it for sentimental reasons and out of respect for the dead, though the Jedi High Council ensured that Ural knew how much they disapproved of the request.

He graduated from University first in class and became an Aide to the Secretary of the Council of Glee Anselm. After 2 years, he became an Aide to one of the councilmen. He became friends with the Senator of Glee Anselm for some brownie points, but ended up really caring for the guy. After 4 years, he was appointed a Representative by the Senator Glee Anselm. He served the Senator till the senator died of old age, another four years later. Out of respect of the old Senator, and love of Politics and his home world, he then ran for office and won by a narrow margin, 3 months ago, because many voters were skeptical of Ural's promises and his running in a minority party. He has been an advocate for a military for the Grand Republic, with great support from Geonosis, Glee Anselm, and many other systems, however, his main goal in the Senate is to pass a bill that would allow the Grand Republic to provide an additional 2.5 billion credits to each planet with more than 40% of its population below the poverty line and less than 6% corruption rate.

That formatting is very very .... very bad.

it's your template

You're meant to remove the excess text, not leave it. You should know that, considering you've used the exact same character sheet before.

nah, i used the basic template. it was like 5 times shorter

That doesn't really explain your sudden lack of skills in literacy.

I'm lazy. Is that a crime?

formatting aside, my char?

LordShatter wrote:

I'm lazy. Is that a crime?

formatting aside, my char?

It can be considered one, especially if you're in the armed forces.

It's not that hard to be honest. Don't be lazy dude.

Again! formatting aside, is my char approved? Yes or No?

No, due the fact it is lacking in a lot of detail, the terrible formatting doesn't help at all.

Quote :

He lost his father when he was 7, his brother when when he was 15.

How did any of this happen, people don't just suddenly drop down dead for no reason, something has to of caused their deaths.

Quote :

When he graduated secondary school, he studied Politics.

Why? What's so special about this subject, and not something else?

Quote :

While in University, he met a Jedi, and they became close friends.

This happened, how and why?

Quote :

The Jedi was assassinated by a bounty hunter however,

Why?

Quote :

He graduated from University

With what qualifications?

Quote :

and became an Aide to the Council of Glee Anselm.

So this straight out of Uni teenager gets a important job, how exactly? I'm very sure with your lack of experience, there would be better candidates.

Quote :

After 4 years, he was appointed a Representative by the Senator Glee Anselm.

Why? All you have experience in, is being someones Aide, you suddenly have the skills to do this how?

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He served the Senator till his death two years later.

Why is the Senator dead. Senators of all people don't just die.

Quote :

He then ran for office and won by a narrow margin, two weeks ago.

Why did he run for office, what drove him to want this position, and why is he apparently so bad, he only just won?

I fixed what you asked. Am I approved now?

The fact that his parents died makes me dislike this character. But that's just me, just some criticism.

Several of Vedic's "Why" questions are also unanswered.

Which Whys?

And edited it yet again. added as much detail as I could. I believe now, it should be fine.

Quote :

Physical Ability & Limits:
N/A
Physical Illness/Ailment:
N/A

We need this to have actual answers, other wise your character is as strong as a feather, yet can pick up a ton with ease. He also needs something wrong with him, anything.

Quote :

Clothing Style:
Traditional Glee Anselm Senator's Uniform

That is .... ?

Quote :

Voice:Deep

Um, and how does one define deep?

Quote :

Goal(s): To become the most famous Nautolan senator to date.
Objective:No.

So you're telling me that a Senator who is driven by greed, has no goal in life?

Quote :

Fears & Phobias: Dying of dehydration

Why?

Quote :

Dirty Secret:
N/A

Ha ha ha, no. There's no such thing as a Honest Senator. You've had to do something that you didn't morally agree with in your career.

Quote :

Hobbies:
N/A

That's pretty impossible, he has to like doing something. Even a Serial Killer has hobbies, why not a Senator? 

Quote :

He lost his father when he was 7 when pirates attacked his cruise ship,

LordShatter wrote:

Which Whys?

And edited it yet again. added as much detail as I could. I believe now, it should be fine.

Pretty much all of what Vedic said.